Goddammit, Apple.
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Goddammit, Apple.
You ruined the iPhone 4. You took a completely elegant device and made it unusable with a dumbass antennae problem coupled with a service provider that everyone in the country regards as “the worst.” Now people are cutting up Live Strong bracelets and duct tape to keep their fingers from touching part of their phone. I repeat – TO KEEP THEIR FINGERS FROM TOUCHING PART OF THEIR PHONE!
I had an iPhone 4. I was excited. And when I got it, I loved it! It was so snappy and responsive. The pictures were so pretty and the hi-def video was excellent (for a phone). And it was beautiful.

Then I made some PHONE calls.
My first weekend with the iPhone I had 7 dropped calls. SEVEN DROPPED CALLS?? Are you fucking kidding me? It was my dad’s birthday on Sunday and over the course of 45 minutes the call was dropped 3 times!
I called AT&T. They weren’t helpful at all.
Me: My calls keep getting dropped.
AT&T: It’s your fault.
Me: What? I think your service is just bad in Los Angeles.
AT&T: You’re probably driving through dead zones.
Me: I’m at home.
AT&T: Structures can interfere with the signal when you’re in a building.
Me: I’m in my front yard.
AT&T: It’s Apple’s fault.
Me: I hate you.

So I decide that I am done with the iPhone because… it’s not really a phone if you can’t make phone calls, is it?
I see on the news or online or something that the iPhone can be returned within 30 days and decide that I will make the switch to an Android-based phone.
Now is the part where I get REEEEALLY ANGRY.
I go to the Apple Store and they tell me I have the wrong headphones with the iPhone. OK, my mistake I’ll be back later.
Parking deck. Traffic. Get receipt. Traffic. Parking deck.
I come back and they tell me I need a receipt. Dammit, why didn’t you tell me that the first time?
Parking deck. Traffic. Look for a receipt. Print confirmation order. Traffic. Parking deck.
I come back with my order confirmation because I ordered online and they tell me that I have to return it online if I ordered it online.
Goddammit, Apple!
They give a number to call for instructions on how to return my iPhone to their online store. I call it. The automated system makes you put in your order number and verify some details and then… “Our office is currently closed.”
AFTER ALL THAT, THERE’S NOT EVEN ANYONE THERE TO ANSWER ME? WHY DID YOU MAKE ME ENTER THE INFORMATION FIRST IF YOU’RE ALREADY CLOSED!!! GODDAMMIT, APPLE!!
I’m furious and disappointed with the entire experience of the iPhone 4. And I’m a guy who really loved Apple (love is ephemeral). I’m already comfortable with my new Droid on the Verizon network — and I’m getting the Droid X when it’s back in stock. It lacks the elegance of the operating system of an iPhone, and I don’t have ALL the apps that I used to, but at least I don’t have to put any God damn duct tape on my phone to make a call.

Would you put duct tape on a baby if it kept dropping things?
200 Comments
Tweets that mention Goddammit, Apple. | Smug Smog -- Topsy.com
July 27th, 2010
at 2:15pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by The Outside Joke, Leslie Boggs, CC Pearce, Maria Odete Madeira, craig lackey and others. craig lackey said: Goddammit, Apple http://bit.ly/cQC85E [...]
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September 4th, 2010
at 11:44pm
I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)
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September 13th, 2010
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Why did the plane crash into the house????
COZ THE LANDING LIGHT WAS ON!!
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October 22nd, 2010
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